Gonzo Underground Free Press International(GUFPI) Baghdad, Iraq--
Following the further demonetization of the Iranian president at the UN pow-wow this week, U.S. forces, led by neocon extremist war profiteers, were surrounded by a 60 million strong disgruntled Jihadi coalition. Prompting the United States and NASCAR officials to implement and execute top-secret strategic re-deployment plans today. The pentagon issued the following statement…..“to protect American lives and secure petroleum reserves we’ve decided to blast our way out of Iraq and into South America through the earth’s core and take Hugo Chavez’s Shi’ite (that’s black and brown),there is sunnishine under them thear hills” also adding…..“a brilliant plan we just finished twenty minutes ago, that should work better for us.” Above NASCAR’s Kurt Busch in the #2 ‘NAS-Tank of tomorrow’s leading the urgent mission, bringing up the rear #24 commanded by Jeff Gordon will provide rear security, Gordon punched through Venezuela yesterday.
The Venezuelan dictator, Hugo Chavez, attending madrasa today, declined comment deferring all security inquiries to the visiting Iranian Dic-tator Cheney.
President Bush, returning from the rose garden early, irritated the news media and wife Laura by speaking publicly…..by addressing the press on such a sensitive issue “characterized the early withdrawal as a premature evacuation” and said that he would look into the matter, adding Cheney is due back from South America soon and is scheduled to brief him about the Iraqi thing too.