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[Blasty the Drone theme song]
I just flew back from Yemen, and boy are my wings of death tired!
Seriously though, Rand Paul's filibuster was just inspiring!
It's just like "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," if Mr. Smith spoke for hours and hours, up, then sent out a fundraising plea, went on all the major talk shows, and announced his candidacy for president!
But while you're all suddenly wondering about me and my drone friends blowing you to bits in Bowling Green, I've been busy abroad for years killing thousands!
With things like "signature strikes" which sound fancy, but really just mean we kinda' think these people might be suspects!
Dang it, another wedding!
Don't worry, they're usually just foreigners though.
But whether they're foreigners or citizens-- first comes firepower [blam], then comes legalese!
And if the legalese doesn't work, there's always "state secrets" where nobody knows nothin'--
Except for me! [blam]
Drones, torture, or prisons, these things have a way of working themselves out.
Like how John Brennan is now going to head the CIA, and the agent who blew the whistle on the CIA torture program is on his way to prison!
So while you're worried about gettin' blasted by that liberal Kenyan socialist at home, I'll be blastin' abroad, killing suspects, and suspects friends . . .
And their friends friends, and friends of their friend's friend, and friend of that friend and friends of friend-- oops! and friends of friends who are friends, and those friends of friends . . . oops!
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