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Candidate Kit

It’s that time again, when people delve into a presidential candidate’s eating habits, transportation habits and hair styles. Never mind the policies, now is the time to talk about the nothingness of the very early stages of the campaign.
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Three-eyed Billy Embraces the Apocalypse

What’s the new frontier in scientific denial?  Earthquake denial!  First, fossil fuels help change the atmosphere, now they’re causing earthquakes.  It’s official, this isn’t just some crackpot conspiracy theory designed to undermine the oil industry.  The USGS and loads of scientists confirm that the industry practice of injecting oil and gas wastewater deep underground is causing earthquakes.

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Religious Freedom and Gay Commerce

What do you do when you sign a law that is perfectly fine and simply safeguards Religious Liberty for All in the great tradition of apple pie and God?  Why, you urge your state legislators to revise it and make it acceptable to all those meddling outsiders who just don’t understand the wisdom of your legislation!  Or at least that’s what you do if you’re Indiana governor Mike Pence.

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Imagine Republican Dough

Now that Ted Cruz has officially announced he’s running for president, the seal has been broken and more will quickly follow.  Oh, and besides being a presidential candidate, now Senator Cruz will be signing up for Obamacare.  Nothing at all hypocritical about that, right?  Cruz’s wife is taking a temporary leave from her job at Goldman Sachs so poor ol’ Ted won’t have the health insurance to which he has grown accustomed.

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Ted Cruz: A Time for Truth & Fire

Here's a quick remake of Senator, and now presidential candidate, Ted Cruz's inaugural campaign video for 2016. Cruz has so much substance, unfortunately, the wrong kind of substance. He's a smart guy (he's gotta' be, right? Right?), sad to see him reduced to schmaltzy stock footage and campaign speak. Guess you could always replay his speeches about shutting down the government if you want more depth, or the time he told a 3-year-old his world was on fire.

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