Between Robert Mueller’s special counsel investigation and federal prosecutors in the Southern District of New York investigating campaign finance (and other) shenanigans, it might be a jumpy Christmas around the Trump household. And now there isn’t even a Donald J. Trump Foundation to help spread goodwill and holiday cheer.
I really tried to avoid Trump this week, I really did. But President Trump unveiled his true persona this week: Tariff Man! Sure, Tariff Man can tank stock markets around the globe with a single tweet but he can do so much more. He can battle those subpoenas that come raining down like lead.
President Trump wants to start a new state-run broadcast outlet to get the wonderful news of Trump out to the world. This is an extension of his war on the press and CNN in particular. Apparently he wants coverage that is even more fawning than the de facto state news agency, Fox News.
With the deadly fires in California still burning and hundreds of people missing in the area that was once the town of Paradise, President Trump thought it would be a good idea to blame the fires on his favorite punching bag state. Tweeting that “there is no reason for these massive, deadly and costly forest fires,” Trump blamed the fires on California.
President Trump turned a resounding Republican loss in the U.S. House of Representatives into a triumphant victory. None of Tuesday night’s GOP losses were Trump’s fault of course. He chalked up any losses to candidates who didn’t embrace him enough. Never mind that suburban voters fled the Republican brand in droves thanks to the president’s brand of chaos.
With the midterm elections right around the corner, President Trump and the Republican Party are doubling-down on migrant caravan scare tactics. Oh, that and a heavy dose of conspiracy theories as well.
They’re coming to get you. As a matter of fact, they’ve been coming to get you for quite a while. Whether it’s trying to kill Obamacare or kill 4,500 more people every year with pollution, it seems like the new brand of Trump Republicans are the ones really out to get us.
You probably already know about the United Nations report on climate change put out by the IPCC. Things don’t look good. In short, everyone in the world has to dramatically change our energy sources and our global economy, like, now. (Okay, we’ve got ten years but who’s counting.) If we don’t, things start to sound pretty apocalyptic—famine, wars, rising seas and temperatures, financial costs in the trillions.
President Trump never met a conspiracy theory he didn’t like or wouldn’t repeat. It is abundantly clear now that all of the opposition to Brett Kavanaugh was orchestrated by the Democrats and George Soros, right? Those sharp looking professional signs? Surely the work of either Soros or the Rothschilds! The reason you can’t show exact proof is all the proof you need to show how sneaky these deep-staters are!
If Donald Trump can issue a “Presidential Alert” to everyone’s cell phone, it’s only fitting to issue a Beer Warning Alert as well. Beer drinkers everywhere should know that beer—consumed in conjunction with things like entitlement, extreme partisanship and truth-bending/lying—can result in some startling side effects.